February 7, 2016
Today is my absolute favorite day to do a little grocery shopping. I normally do my shopping on Saturday, but during Super Bowl weekend, I wait until Sunday to tackle this chore just because it’s such a damned hoot!
Timing is everything. You’ll want to wait until an hour, or an hour and a half, prior to kick-off before heading to the store….and you can’t be in a rush.
The first thing you’ll notice, there are no grocery carts available. No baskets either. Then you’ll notice that the store is unusually crowded. That’s when your reptilian brain will take note of the fact that every cart is being pushed by men….men you’ve never seen in your store before…..men that obviously have no idea where anything is.
They’re wandering aimlessly up and down the aisles grabbing anything that seems appropriate to the occasion: beer, chips, salsa, Jagermeister, packaged ribs, tequila, cheese dip, canned chili, pre-made chicken wings, pretzels, onion dip and barrels of licorice.
Once you have all the items on your list, you’ll head to the register only to find insanely long lines of men wearing hats, t-shirts, sweatshirts and jackets featuring various team logos, pushing overflowing shopping carts of the aforementioned items.
It’s like the modern day equivalent of the hunter/gatherer behavior of the Stone Age!